That was a question. Ok well not really 😛 but I finally went from denial to acceptance. This came after gaining stability from heavy drinking and darkness. Just like last post stated that I became better and happier the more I aligned myself. When I had changed my name I was superbly happy. Yes the pizzazz about it fell apart when people didn’t adjust to it on a timely basis. I am happy with that decision still no issue there.

I had discovered a place called Compass from Pridefest in downtown. This place was a great center of resources and a LGBT  community HQ of the sorts. It was a place you can go and be yourself no matter what. I came across that there was a Gender Support group 2 times a month. I went when I could and found others in similar situations from just getting started to fully transitioned. It was really nice to meet people in person on where I am about to go. It was still a time of baby steps and one of which is embracing what you can’t change and being yourself at all times. The people of the group inspire me to be just me, and nothing fake anymore. It was a big relief off my shoulders to an extent.

I had seen different therapists over time and all provided me tools and resources I still use today. 2 of them provided me the most life coaching I am thankful for. Currently as I am becoming a blooming rose of the sorts is going to do direct action assistance to help boost me into changes I need to start. At first I am soo wowed by it I didn’t know what to say. Being walked into your dreams is a thought so happy that it brings tears of happiness. I am very excited to embark upon public integration as a neutral-feminine status. For most once you get past that, its all good from there for the most part. some people’s dreams involve “things” or a certain “career”. My dream is to the best of my ability to be the woman I was meant to be.

This roller-coaster I been on for more than a decade has provided me many learning lessons ahead of my age group. Its nice from my learning to share it to others who can also use the tools from themselves. I never look at my past experiences as something I want to forget or think of the bad times as bad things. All experiences I gain help build me. Every time a hurricane passes you learn 2 things. 1) the hurricane isn’t going to sit on your head and stay there forever and 2) if something breaks you then learn have to make sure it doesn’t break the next time a hurricane passes.

“No matter if you think you can, or can’t either way you are right” love that quote who I forgot who said it. I used to think that it would too hard for me to start transitioning but the best way I thought on how to start is to just do it. I am being guiding into baby steps for this life process. Only one way to eat an elephant and that is one bite at a time. This is where I am now. I am starting to love myself so others can love me. Wardrobe exploring as well now. This is my story that shall be continued after any major steps. Posts after this one will not be in parts, but as updates on my journey.

 

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