When your not strong, I’ll be your friend. Good song yes but this post concerns the status of friends. Yes I have “friends” that I keep in contact with, and there used to be some I would hang out commonly with. There is also some pending hangouts with people I haven’t seen in a long time. Besides all that I haven’t directly come up with what a perfect amount or the description of what a great friend should be. I understand in trying to have great friends, I must be the same for what I seek. Lets review what a friend is and its types.

Definition of FRIEND

A person other than a family member, spouse or love whose company one enjoys and towards whom one feels affection. A boyfriend or girlfriend. An associate who provides assistance. A person with whom one is vaguely or indirectly acquainted. A person who backs or supports something. (informal) An object or idea that can be used for good.

Types of Friends from good ol’ Wiki 

(listed but not limited to)

Agentic – In an agentic friendship, both parties look to each other for help in achieving practical goals in their personal and professional lives. Agentic friends may help with completing projects, studying for an exam, or helping move houses. They value sharing time together, but only when they have time available to help each other. These relationships typically do not include the sharing of emotions or personal information.

Best friend – (or close friend) Best friends share extremely strong interpersonal ties with each other.

Communal friendship – As defined by Steven McCornack, this is a friendship in which friends gather often to provide encouragement and emotional support in times of great need. This type of friendship tends to last only when the involved parties fulfill the expectations of support.

Comrade – This term denotes an ally, friend, or colleague, especially in a military or political context. Comradeship may arise in time of war, or when people have a mutual enemy or even a common goal, in circumstances where ordinary friendships might not have formed.

Frenemy – A portmanteau of the words “friend” and “enemy,” the term “frenemy” refers to either an enemy disguised as a friend (a proverbial wold in sheep’s clothing) or a person who is both a friend and a rival.

Internet Friend –  friendship or romance which takes place exclusively over the internet. This may evolve into a real-life friendship. Internet friendships are in similar context to pen pals. People in these friendships may not use their true identities.

Opposite-sex friendship – A.K.A. “Friend-zoned” nonsexual relations. Although complications can arise in such relationships, opposite sex friendships can be strong and emotionally rewarding.

Facebook Friend – (not listed but I made up) A person that is connected to you through the social site “www.facebook.com” This individual can be an actual friend or family member whose relations can end potentially from “un-friending button” Facebook was intended to connect individuals that know each other in the real world. Many times often than rare people connect through here as an unintentional phonebook with birthday reminders. While its great to keep in contact with everyone you remember; sometimes it creates artificial relations. If Facebook is used as intended its a great way to maintain relations. Some add people on Facebook as a minimal effort to show acknowledgement.

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After reviewing I have come to find that sometimes there are a variety of types that we will all encounter. I probably have to reset my expectations of people around me. I do realize that people will come into our lives during a season for a reason. Due to the fact I am a libra and loyal in nature I try to hold onto the remaining people I know. Friends are not that easy to make in an era where people are taught not to talk to strangers. (in reference to posts I made before about loving thy neighbor and people who alienate) On the flip side there are different places around earth where everyone is friendly. I will acknowledge that it all depends on where you live and your efforts.
Time will take tolls on relations. Some reason some people will stay the same 10 years later and others will completely different individual by then. I am for sure guilty of changes to an extent. People 10 years from now will now see the same Jessie because I am on an ongoing process of gender expressions. That doesn’t mean my personality changes. I actually will just become more joyful and real when I get further down the line. That’s another topic for some later post. I try to be reasonable to adapt to changing friends but some its for sure not easy.
Most of us desire to have friends that will always be local, willing to hang out any hours of the day, and to be available to talk like a dispatcher on shift. Realistically people will move and no longer be close because of their life paths or family making. Some will be making families and no longer want to do the same things because of new obligations. In other cases when people get certain obligations they will also no longer be able to remain on call like that. One thing for sure I wouldn’t want to have to find a large amount of friends just to fill the quota of what I need.
I am happy with a handful of dependable companions in this short crazy life. Still as time takes its tolls I am losing them one by one. Life goes on yes but for 75% of friendships the distance kills the close relations. Yes I made up my own statistic from experiences. It requires an in-person attendance to remain close for some. I currently have 2 friends that distance is no object to our relations because of the types of bonds built. That distance is 200 miles for one and 3000 for the other. People within 30 miles have no impacted loss for me personally.
I have to dig deep to see if I am just tired of being single and try to press onto friends to fill that emptiness for me. I will expand about being single in a different post. As I just typed that; it’s quite the pondering material at the same time of the real fact of the dwindling friend base. Well I’m glad to review the different friend types to embrace all of them no matter how they come into my life. I just wish the world would see that I am willing to be a great friend to anyone and that I desire to make more of them. Not about numbers but just quality bonds with people.
Facebook is kind of limited at exploring new people without an actual name. On the MySpace social site; it had a browse interface of the people local to you. At that era of time, it was cool to explore through there in attempts for more local buddies. I personally prefer not to take co-worker relations outside of the workplace for 2 reasons. 1) you will only talk about work because that is what is in common 2) sometimes that relation dies out if one of you no longer works there. It was nice and easy to make friends through schooling but we are not in school for the rest of our lives.
I may have indeed overlooked some sources like the community center: Compass that I go to. I do not currently have a religion base so that source is not available. At the moment there are no good candidates of neighbor friends in this certain neighborhood I live in. There is a lot of non-english speakers or drugs in the community I live in. Later when I choose the place i can call my own, I’m sure I will be around next door candidates better than now.
Well that is all for this big post but it was for sure a topic I had to log. Companionship and being someone’s companion is important in my life. I am thankful of Word Press that I can document this life development.
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