Why: I quit Facebook

Hear me out (long post)…as of 10-11-2013: I terminated my account from Facebook.

Call me old-schooled or out of touch but I don’t believe in that medium of socializing anymore. To clarify my experience with this: Facebook account since 2007-2008 range (can’t pinpoint exactly but during my senior year of high school 5 years ago). Therefore I have been actively using Facebook 5 years and NOT the games.

I am not writing today to persuade any reader’s personal view on social media nor to evaluate the entity Facebook, all rights reserved etc. These are my personal experiences with the site and what led me to depart from this fastest growing way to electronically communicate. Sometimes I wish I could better explain why should people should leave it too, but everyone has a right and reason to use it. There are possibilities of negative effects on “mentally healthy” people whether they want to test this theory or not. Psychologist and Sociologist could also probably see what I’m seeing. Don’t exactly have the time to fully research supporting material because this isn’t a persuasive entry 😛

5 Years ago I left MySpace to Facebook; only because my friends all went over. Therefore I guess I have “to go right or get left” haha. MySpace was fun to use in really expressing ourselves. Yes that site lacked Privacy but at the same time didn’t require even a real name to post. The pretty layouts, music, and fun apps on the MySpace was the unique way for people to interpret what we are trying to express. I can understand how it was hard to find people on MySpace at the time. Facebook at least tried to ensure all placed in a real name to be found. That was the first step to strip the uniqueness of expression. I personally never participated in some kind of name like “Mighty Trigger Mike” or “Princess Jane”. I’ll admit to using my rank from AFJROTC and the Army but that’s as far as I went.

Point I am getting at in my world of metaphors; Facebook is like school uniforms and MySpace was no dress code. That difference was the largest difference impact to most I closely knew. We all ignored this because it was an exciting trend to go to something new and trending. It was like a honeymoon transition. Infatuated in a new means of easier way to find people: we ignore the quirks or restrictions. Not only was your real name and birthday out there: it really started to profile your deep interests if one choose to enter them. I will give credit to Facebook having developed privacy settings better over the years for all this voluntary input of information. Most things can be private and hidden if you needed it so.

They way I express myself is not by restricted categories. You will learn little about me from knowing what books, movies, and music I like. My interests cannot be detected from companies and entities that outreach to me to “Like”. In my honest opinion; businesses were going to far with their outreach on how some can view your information once you “Like” or add their App. Its free consumer profiles and we are ok with that…I guess… In a entrepreneur standpoint ok, I see the benefit with interacting with real people about products and suggestions. Problem is that not all entities have that simple intentions on Facebook. Many want to make sure they can seen as a fun thing to interact with while it was originated to only be a medium of contacting people.

Many sources report Facebook as a billion dollar enterprise. Their gains is not only from investors, shareholders and mini games; it also came from strategic advertisements. If you have a company; you now can be assisted in outreach a lot easier, if you can afford it. To me, Facebook started with honest well respected intentions. I would have been more inclined to stay if businesses were not so involved in outreach into this social platform. It was as if commercials on YouTube, Google Ads, and TV were not enough. Let us insert ourselves in between where close relations intertwine. I saw that coming and not longer seen that as the same honest Facebook I used to know. Yes The company needs money to maintain its servers and staff, I understand.

We can all agree that the site is in pure profits and seeks to be the Wal-Mart one stop shop of any site. It’s video chat feature competes with Skype. Its instant message/mail feature: AIM, Yahoo, and MSN messengers could not compete with. Many businesses mutually partnered up so that you can log into other sites with your Facebook account to make it simple. I agree it was nice to one click enter some sites just by using my profile…at a price. They were able to see everything on my account for the most part (not private things like messages, etc of course). Point being we don’t see this invasion aspect for this convenience function.

I don’t have anything to hide: as you can pretty much see I spill my life onto Word Press. At least here I can express myself on a blank canvas. Not movies, books, personal views categories, etc. I am not sure who actually reads my long posts lol. If you got this far, thank you for checking me out as I pretty much diary myself online. Anyhow, Facebook has become a giant. Therefore they have locked in their audience more and more. I can’t stand to be in that uniformity of less expressions, personal info disclosures (there) and business outreaching. We all need a space to just interact with humans where its only about relations. Not hey! “see which products we have coming”: comment on which you like. “Like” for a coupon.

I am too self aware to just keep going and know these things are going on around me. It’s having the world’s largest influence in my opinion. I see many in other countries that are connecting into this American made entity. Businesses are loving that but probably won’t say so. Besides the expressions and enterprising sides of the site; there is the actual socializing I have to address. This is the part I say call me old schooled. Best ways to communicate with me is phone call, video chat, messages, instant message, posts, or IN PERSON. Many are distracted from that very direct way of actually reaching to each other.

I would love to know who actually knows my birthday or relies upon the handy dandy reminders on Facebook? I can’t stand being a contact entry to everyone else. Did my best to try to talk to old friends but they became to busy with one way communications. Everyone has a specific role they play on the site or mixtures. I’d love to explain them all but this is already 1000+ words. Socializing is a 2 WAY STREET PEOPLE, I give a “rats ass” what you eating, where you are, and what you are ranting about. Facebook is NOT twitter. People are checking in and tagging people with them. This further invades privacy to me on where you are going + doing what.

Love to socialize but keep me out of your tags. I don’t care for the world to be able to pin point I was at XYZ Park in Loserville. As cute as it may look, it invades my privacy of my anonymous roaming. If I ever owned a house; the hell I would post I was outside of it. Let there be a chance that was intercepted, robbers then know when to rob my house. If Facebook keeps going at the rate we are going of trying to be close electronically; let us know when to plug in and take the red/blue pill (Matrix for those that are confused). Back in the day it was fun to chat with people and find new friends because they were local in radius search. You can no longer find new people on Facebook.

Yes, I understand its suppose to be an entity for only people you know with their real identity exposed. How am I suppose to socialize when most of the 100+/- I “realistically” know become to busy to talk to me? Am I to be stuck waiting for the same old friends to finally get around to me? I despise that. I need to keep socializing and the hell you will not catch me playing mini-games on the site while I wait for you to get back to me weeks later. I remember the days on Aol Instant Messenger where people had to directly engage with you. Now its turned into; I’ll get to you when I can because I’m busy looking at meme’s and rants in my news feed.

The news feed for the most part turns into straight trash. Not only is there rants and pictures of what your eating; the role-players of daily philosopher, and people treating it like twitter gets old. Some have said that some like to post “fantastic” things they are doing to present themselves as a somebody. A someone who is engaging in “interesting things”. While the people viewing it may receive sub-conscious jealousy, resentment, or inadequacy’s of where they are at. People can post about their exercise and then feel negative to their own health actions. People can post about their loving new relationship while making lonely people feel more like shit.

Posts of anything better than what/where you doing right now can affect you unless…your brainless I guess. Someone posts about getting into a college; and here I am struggling with a minimum wage job retaking ACT/SAT to keep trying admissions doesn’t help my positive psychology. Of course I’ll be jealous and happy for others. No one ever thought that would occur but it does. People post pictures of amazing places they go or dine at meanwhile; I just go to school and eat frozen stuff. Hmm I don’t know but after 5 years of seeing stuff that I been seeing I’m tired of it. We are all affected by things that are electronic platforms.

I was never conscious about my body status till I watched TV shows, movies, and seen advertisements of what pretty people are “deemed” to look like. Sub-consciously I have been influenced to meet certain goals of my health because of things I see. I want to go after an occupation I would love. If that ends up as something that pays 45k a year but I’m happy so be it. Problem lies when I feel inadequate in comparison to my peers/closed loved ones. If someone close posts a new car they got, it my change my view of what I used to be satisfied with. While the greatest benefit is to keep close contact with people on this platform, take notice of that.

I was never in the business of competing with my close ones on where I’m at and doing with myself. Over the 5 years I started to re-evaluate where I was because now many I know are becoming established. I DO NOT want that in my head of competition. We are all on our unique paths in life. Having large income makes life easier yes but doesn’t alone make you obtain long-term contentment. I would like to say people that are doing the posting are innocently doing it so to let others know what’s going on. At the same time there are those reactions we sometimes don’t know will occur as explained. I want to revert my personal standing on this advancement of society.

Personally I was more happy with a simple flip phone. Now we are burdened with many models of smart phones that die WAY faster with its extra shh. AHEM I mean apps. XD I want to go back to the days when we went OUTSIDE the house to communicate. Remember the days of knocking on the neighbor’s door saying hello? Remember board game nights at the house and not those annoying game requests on sites. We are becoming closer knit that doesn’t allow outsiders easily; but businesses can reach us firstly… We compete to each other…I can’t do this anymore. Meet me in person or phone call me if its my birthday. I remember people’s phone numbers because I ACTUALLY DIAL THEM. I don’t save them; and harass people saying “Uh ya mang I lost my phone need numbers ASAP”.

Ha how technology makes us dependent than we think. I refuse to use GPS as well and because I don’t; I know where the hell I’m going lol. I don’t have money to place a bet but if something as giant like Facebook shut down, what would be the effects? would we start to think there is no more social life? Yes there would be bounce back but oh my goodness just ponder that for a second. If electric goes out: we use a candle or generator. If people become hermits onto electronic social media and you turn off the lights; what are the candles and generators to it? At least I pondered about it. I would know what to do. Instead of back up plans, I will reset into real person to person communications.

For me: Skype, Y-mail, Word Press, Phone calls, USPS/FedEx/UPS and IN PERSON will be the only means to interact with me. Sorry to all those affected by my account termination. Most of the 100+ won’t know I am gone till they need me…others won’t even find this post of mine. Sorry if I changed directions in life and prefer real human interactions that isn’t affected but all things explained above but NOT limited to. Word Press is the best way to really see who I am. Any who takes time to read through things I’ve posted and uses the above methods are worth more in my life. Keep people who matter and the ditch those that are otherwise. No use to waste energy on fake relations.

 

 

Good Bye Facebook. It was an interesting 5 years and life lessons on how to truly socialize. Good luck to all else who uses it. Hope you don’t get affected like I was.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/search/query?keys=facebook&x=0&y=0

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/

My Story – Part 2: Post Grad & Army

After High School graduation was quite the roller coaster of experiences. In a way I can say that is fine because if it wasn’t then wouldn’t life be boring haha. This is the time when I made Google and Yahoo Answers my best friends. Through those searches and research I come to find that there was something called transgender. I knew my heart and on the inside I am female but still at the time, didn’t fully understand it. Happiness came out of research to finally pin why I felt sad for no reason but it should have been obvious from the simple fact I was fake for many years. There were many times of doubt and denial that I would have to alter my body to reach happiness. Still in the hypnosis of hyper-masculinity I thought that joining the Army would be my man making process and I was in a phase in my life or something.

I went to a Psychologist before boot camp to talk things out because before leaving I was still very deep in sadness everyday without cause. Looking back the cause was all because of me but I couldn’t see that at the time. The therapist said also I was transgender via describing how I feel and about my past. This conflicted with denial and that also I was leaving for the Army soon. The information was kept in the background until I finished training and went back home. I completed my training at Fort Benning which is nicknamed the School for Men as a joke because its home of the infantry. Infantry is currently a male only occupation. After training I still felt the same way before entering…I am still not myself. Being male was a total lie.

I came home in full blown depression. I tried to hide it the best I could until the drinking started. Depression can make you drink like no other. Some days I would drink half to 3/4 of a 1.75L Bacardi or Jack Daniels. It was a sickening dark time and all I could think was to drink to sooth the pain. It hurt to continue the lie and the more I lied to myself and others the more I just wanted to disappear. When I say disappear I mean suicide which I will cover next post.

I was happy that I lost 38 pounds through training to fit nice in woman’s clothes. That happiness was only temporary when I tried dressing up. Still confused and in denial I didn’t know what to do. The drinking stated above lead to eating more as fueled by depression. I regained all the weight and then some. That kept me in a perma state of sadness that had no possible way to be hidden anymore. The stress and sadness made me into a hermit and I would spend all my time on Guild Wars.

Not sure why but then after a long while, I returned back to therapy. The initial sessions helped to identify that 100% I am transgender under Gender Identity Disorder. Even with that discovery that I kinda already knew it was still left un-addressed. I gained somewhat control on the heavy depression by being able to talk some things out but the therapist at the time I went to reached a point he couldn’t help me much more of what I required. Much time was spent with the same therapist but resulted into almost casual conversations.

I needed serious help and I needed it now. As I went to weekend drills to my unit, the situation at hand saddened me that I was stuck in a male position and couldn’t get out even if I screamed. I was like a caged animal at a zoo. I needed to become wild and free again. An event occurred that will be touched in the next post that I reached my breaking point. I talked my situation to a Sgt. who was a good friend who then talked to the Commander. I talked to the Commander about my situation and then they said a decision would be made on what to do next.

The next drill weekend I was offered an Honorable Discharge or to sign against it to stay. I told them I think I know what I need to do so leaving is the final option. It was very surprising the situation was handled very professionally and on a timely basis. The process only took a month and I was out. The military is something I will always love and cherish. I had been accepted to Marion Military Institute, Army ROTC program to become an officer on a side note. It was a dream to be an officer in the Military. Its ok that chapter is done in my life and will do the job of honoring those in service instead.