The Undecided n’ Indecisive Disease

Many people my age are starting to catch this…disease mindset. Its temporary in duration until the individual figures out an interest. I always hear that “if you do what you love, you will never work a day”. Well ok I get that but I am having trouble to identify what I want to do. Sometimes I think I am looking to deep about selecting something. At the same time, choices seem very limited.

Currently I live in the country where there is a set system and a set of XYZ occupations. One has to choose one in order to survive or attempt to live on the streets. One simply does not sit around and make money without doing anything as much as we would like. To me when you are limited to X amount of occupations out there that require heavy training and a degree; it limits talent abilities of some people.

I met many people with large passions or talents but then result to something they semi-like and wither away in that end result occupation. In example I once know someone that was very musically talented but afraid to pursue that passion. They shelved that talent like a book and forced them self to go after what was to them “real work”. That isn’t exactly wasted talent, its just not a wise decision to have shelved that talent.

Yes its always smart to have a back up plan to fall on just in case a passion doesn’t work. At the same time I will never forget what Kirk Nugent says in his inspirational talks “to pursue your passion”. He is 110% right that the richest place in the world is grave sites. There lies not only bodies, but also books that were never written, songs never sung, dancing never done, kisses/hugs never given to who they wished them for, etc etc the list can go on.

Life is too short and we are not getting younger. PURSUE YOUR PASSION…just that I have not found what mine is yet. I try to inspire all I know to do what they love instead of ‘just working”. I been following up with many I used to know and only a handful of them 5 years post graduation are going after something they want. Then again its their life and they can do as they please. I have no room to judge their choices.

On the other hand we are sometimes inflated that we are suppose to do something great. Which is great and all but if we all became doctors, who is going to be nurses and CNA’s? If we all go after business management, who is going to be the regular workers? That’s something important to ponder that we all have a place in the system that is long as we let it to be.

So to sum it up i have no idea what to do. If i could live on the mountain and become a monk I would. That isn’t possible so I have to force myself and dig deep for a passion. Some older friends I met have gotten into drugs and are going from job to job. Others have a hard time of even thinking of real occupations and remain in little jobs. This is more common than you think.

I hope I get my stuff together soon as well as the many others like myself soon because time passes by no matter if we do  something or not. Whether you think you can or can’t, either way you are right. I wish I remember who said that. That will help to get out of this disease mindset.

Importance of R&R

Good ol’ Wiki: R&R, military term for rest and recuperation (or rest and relaxation)

You don’t have to be part of the military to understand that down time is needed for balance. This isn’t to be confused with nor influence sedentary lifestyles of just doing nothing. I am speaking about much needed awake state resting. I will acknowledge those that have kids/multiple jobs/other unspecified obligations are limited in the nature for R&R. I have met people that like to work 80 hours and they didn’t financially need to.

Its a sad fact to me when people think their free time should be used for money. Its almost like selling yourself at that point. What can I say, its their free time and people have their own choice what to do with it so I will withdraw my judgement of use. Its not a lazy trait to enjoy breaks, to lay for no reason, to sit and ponder for a little bit. We are not machines that can run all day.

We need time to charge the batteries. Yes sleep can do that partially for us just as food does. Mental health requires on case by case basis that all humans need rest from work and to just let go of everything. Our world is currently filled with lots of things to think about, keep track of, and energy drinks are constantly breathing on our shoulders to be substitutes. Energy drinks are NOT the solution when tired.

When we bottom out on energy and coping abilities the body will ask for rest. Rest is different from sleep as its almost like a state of trance. If anyone ever had radiator problems in their car know about when they see the temp. gauge go up to pull over and let the car cool for maybe 10-20 mins. There is no set times on how much rest is required for R&R. Its possibly easier to think of it as lounging.

To me lounging is the best thing in the world to do next to being in relaxation hypnosis. To lay about and let time and problems pass is a nice feeling. No matter how much issues are present, they will be there no matter if we think about it or not. So why revolve the worry until its fixed? Just kick back in your favorite style and position and let go. I recommend this process daily but not everyone has free time that often I understand.

I also recommend limiting the amount of clothing if possible. Go nude if that’s what your into haha but I will say why. It’s a big no-no to hang out in work clothes home I learned from my mother. Even school clothes, whatever is affiliated from where you came, shed it off. What you wear affects your mood and mindsets. When you shed the clothes it will be the same as letting things off your shoulders and mind of that current day.

Practice that feeling and action together and that will help boost the R&R time. Clothes to me carry identities because each sets are used for different purposes. Comfortable basics (underwear) and if you have; lounging attire (anything you deem). After you have dressed the part the next step is either silence, ponder and reflect (sometimes an entire day can pass and not notice things flying about in the scheme of it all), music, or movie. Me personally I am against TV for R&R as it sometimes has negative effects of addiction.

Music and movies have an end to them and therefore can be set without mood changes to enhance R&R. To take note, this is my way and how I go about R&R. The alternate version of this instead of lounging in the house would be at the beach if local and sunny. Other people like to go out of their house, go places, or be around loved ones. No matter if you do my style, the examples, or your own unique practices; R&R is highly important part of our life and health.

There are many great benefits of always having well rest. Better decision making for work, life, and safety. You will have more focus on tasks and have the energy to do them more efficiently. For me a natural form of energy comes about so I don’t have to result to energy drinks. One day I had slept for 10 hours but also lounged for around 5 hours before nightshift. I had a superb amount of energy for that nights coming work. A lot of physical labor was that same day.

To sum it up, slow down and enjoy life. If you don’t stop every once in a while, life will pass you by will become old before you know it. If you love yourself, them pamper your body and mind 🙂

Photo time line

This one has a place now under about me. I feel its a nice way to combine lots of older pics into a single one. I do have a video camera but not one for regular photos. In the future I would love to have 3 avenues for this site. 1)text to expand verbally on topics that pop into my head 2)pictures to capture progress in life 3)video to capture moments in my life. I have always liked YouTube in forms of watching it instead of TV and making videos.

I am not looking to get big in any way I just desire to document so I can look how far I have come instead of whats left/things to come. I do have lots of joy putting things into this site so that I can live on through here. One may pass physically but if someone still remembers you, then you are still alive. Stay tuned in the future for more photos and videos to come.

Love the rain

Fun fact I live in the “sunshine state” Florida. One thing about me though is that I love the rain for many reasons. The sounds of it pattering on the roof is a very soothing trance. I like the dominating effect thunder has with its booming roar of power. (ha to think about it really is power). Speaking of lightning and this is off topic; I have not seen nor heard it in many years. I do not know if this is just my local region or everywhere else on the earth. In the past lightning would occur with most all rain showers. Let me not get into conspiracy theories.

I must make clear though I do not like to get rained on in situations where I do not want to be wet. Such situations are but not limited to: on my way to work on a bike, coming out of grocery shopping needing to load the car, or getting my sneakers wet that takes at least 2 days to dry. On the other hand I see all the beauty rain does for the environment. Just like a shower cleans us via soap, the earth is partially so as well with rain. Humans are dirty sometimes and rain helps to adjust that fact.

Besides cleaning its amazing for plants. I remember watching the growth of thirsty plants out of my window and the blossoms of color after a rain storm. Sometimes not all that instant but there is a large enhancement after rain. Some people also do not know that rain before affected by air pollutants or the ground is perfectly clean drinkable water. In no way does that mean I will put buckets outside to collect drinking water. Its an example of pure, clean miracles of nature. To have clean water drop form the sky is one of those beauties of nature as well.

Some of us as kids used to love playing in puddles and the falling rain that didn’t have lightning. If I still have the chances I will still splash around the streets haha. Some joys in life will never get old. That is just me of course. Being rained on by semi-warm rain is quite the experience too. Others tell me kissing in the rain is also quite the experience to try as the patter of rain drops is supplementary to the sensual natures of the kiss itself. No notebook reference here as I never seen that movie and only its cover art.

I will surely not make rain dances but I would surely enjoy for it to rain more often. Our nature needs it very much every now and then. It stabilizes our water sources and can be relaxing for some. Others it can make havoc to sunshine based events/activities. What humans need to understand is that mother nature takes priority above anything we do. We live with nature, not above it. <-that right there is what lots of humans fail to recognize. (funny I say that as if I am an alien). To make it clear I am a human too who is curious to understand and make changes for the good.

In summary I will end it with like 4 Strings sang: “Let it rain”

Sorry for large posts but…

The editing here in Word Press is a lot different than Microsoft word. I have tried to indent paragraphs but it doesn’t seem to work. In the large post before this one about friends; the spaces between the paragraphs didn’t come out as intended so it looks like a giant paragraph. So my apologies until I can figure out this site more on how to correctly edit posts.

Lean on me

When your not strong, I’ll be your friend. Good song yes but this post concerns the status of friends. Yes I have “friends” that I keep in contact with, and there used to be some I would hang out commonly with. There is also some pending hangouts with people I haven’t seen in a long time. Besides all that I haven’t directly come up with what a perfect amount or the description of what a great friend should be. I understand in trying to have great friends, I must be the same for what I seek. Lets review what a friend is and its types.

Definition of FRIEND

A person other than a family member, spouse or love whose company one enjoys and towards whom one feels affection. A boyfriend or girlfriend. An associate who provides assistance. A person with whom one is vaguely or indirectly acquainted. A person who backs or supports something. (informal) An object or idea that can be used for good.

Types of Friends from good ol’ Wiki 

(listed but not limited to)

Agentic – In an agentic friendship, both parties look to each other for help in achieving practical goals in their personal and professional lives. Agentic friends may help with completing projects, studying for an exam, or helping move houses. They value sharing time together, but only when they have time available to help each other. These relationships typically do not include the sharing of emotions or personal information.

Best friend – (or close friend) Best friends share extremely strong interpersonal ties with each other.

Communal friendship – As defined by Steven McCornack, this is a friendship in which friends gather often to provide encouragement and emotional support in times of great need. This type of friendship tends to last only when the involved parties fulfill the expectations of support.

Comrade – This term denotes an ally, friend, or colleague, especially in a military or political context. Comradeship may arise in time of war, or when people have a mutual enemy or even a common goal, in circumstances where ordinary friendships might not have formed.

Frenemy – A portmanteau of the words “friend” and “enemy,” the term “frenemy” refers to either an enemy disguised as a friend (a proverbial wold in sheep’s clothing) or a person who is both a friend and a rival.

Internet Friend –  friendship or romance which takes place exclusively over the internet. This may evolve into a real-life friendship. Internet friendships are in similar context to pen pals. People in these friendships may not use their true identities.

Opposite-sex friendship – A.K.A. “Friend-zoned” nonsexual relations. Although complications can arise in such relationships, opposite sex friendships can be strong and emotionally rewarding.

Facebook Friend – (not listed but I made up) A person that is connected to you through the social site “www.facebook.com” This individual can be an actual friend or family member whose relations can end potentially from “un-friending button” Facebook was intended to connect individuals that know each other in the real world. Many times often than rare people connect through here as an unintentional phonebook with birthday reminders. While its great to keep in contact with everyone you remember; sometimes it creates artificial relations. If Facebook is used as intended its a great way to maintain relations. Some add people on Facebook as a minimal effort to show acknowledgement.

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After reviewing I have come to find that sometimes there are a variety of types that we will all encounter. I probably have to reset my expectations of people around me. I do realize that people will come into our lives during a season for a reason. Due to the fact I am a libra and loyal in nature I try to hold onto the remaining people I know. Friends are not that easy to make in an era where people are taught not to talk to strangers. (in reference to posts I made before about loving thy neighbor and people who alienate) On the flip side there are different places around earth where everyone is friendly. I will acknowledge that it all depends on where you live and your efforts.

Time will take tolls on relations. Some reason some people will stay the same 10 years later and others will completely different individual by then. I am for sure guilty of changes to an extent. People 10 years from now will now see the same Jessie because I am on an ongoing process of gender expressions. That doesn’t mean my personality changes. I actually will just become more joyful and real when I get further down the line. That’s another topic for some later post. I try to be reasonable to adapt to changing friends but some its for sure not easy.

Most of us desire to have friends that will always be local, willing to hang out any hours of the day, and to be available to talk like a dispatcher on shift. Realistically people will move and no longer be close because of their life paths or family making. Some will be making families and no longer want to do the same things because of new obligations. In other cases when people get certain obligations they will also no longer be able to remain on call like that. One thing for sure I wouldn’t want to have to find a large amount of friends just to fill the quota of what I need.

I am happy with a handful of dependable companions in this short crazy life. Still as time takes its tolls I am losing them one by one. Life goes on yes but for 75% of friendships the distance kills the close relations. Yes I made up my own statistic from experiences. It requires an in-person attendance to remain close for some. I currently have 2 friends that distance is no object to our relations because of the types of bonds built. That distance is 200 miles for one and 3000 for the other. People within 30 miles have no impacted loss for me personally.

I have to dig deep to see if I am just tired of being single and try to press onto friends to fill that emptiness for me. I will expand about being single in a different post. As I just typed that; it’s quite the pondering material at the same time of the real fact of the dwindling friend base. Well I’m glad to review the different friend types to embrace all of them no matter how they come into my life. I just wish the world would see that I am willing to be a great friend to anyone and that I desire to make more of them. Not about numbers but just quality bonds with people.

Facebook is kind of limited at exploring new people without an actual name. On the MySpace social site; it had a browse interface of the people local to you. At that era of time, it was cool to explore through there in attempts for more local buddies. I personally prefer not to take co-worker relations outside of the workplace for 2 reasons. 1) you will only talk about work because that is what is in common 2) sometimes that relation dies out if one of you no longer works there. It was nice and easy to make friends through schooling but we are not in school for the rest of our lives.

I may have indeed overlooked some sources like the community center: Compass that I go to. I do not currently have a religion base so that source is not available. At the moment there are no good candidates of neighbor friends in this certain neighborhood I live in. There is a lot of non-english speakers or drugs in the community I live in. Later when I choose the place i can call my own, I’m sure I will be around next door candidates better than now.

Well that is all for this big post but it was for sure a topic I had to log. Companionship and being someone’s companion is important in my life. I am thankful of Word Press that I can document this life development.

About Me

The top tab About Me has been updated check it out. It provides a new perspective on who we are and seeing that we let things define us.

Another beautiful day

On Facebook I had made a post about enjoying each day and how some adults are. I will quote my post and my viewpoint. This is my own opinion and not true for all. I guess looking back at my post I was just frustrated that I couldn’t hang out or go places like I used to. I don’t have a car nor a good paying job so things are limited BUT; the best things in life are free. Laughs are much more enjoyable than paying for a good time at some place to do whatever. I make my efforts to enjoy each day I am granted religion based or not however you look at it. As long as you try, that’s what counts.

[Copied from Facebook]

“Is being an adult simply just working and lounging at home with the excuse “too tired to do much else” (after family and/or school obligations if applicable)? Are most adults fixed on work till death or retirement whichever comes first? I understand one must work to make a living in the system we live in but what gets me is that everyone is becoming lame as they get older. Life isnt about working and working isnt life….

Seems to be getting older means losing good friends over time and running into having to make new ones and attempts at family relations balance. I see NO honest effort in most to enjoy themselves in their free times or situations. We all think we have or working towards a dream job that we do what we love but come on…how many of us really obtained such a thing?

Point is I cannot identify if I am around the wrong crowd that doesn’t know how to enjoy themselves or if getting older is just lame and is only about surviving each day. I am not looking for thrills, drugs, clubbing, or to get crazy. I am having a hard time finding like minded people that know they may never have tomorrow and live each day with quality. Most are fixed on the fact that they think they know for sure how long they will live.

Any of us can die at any time…. so why do people ignore or are ignorant of this? Why are many adults “lame” and think work is life and thats it? Truth is i don’t know what response I am seeking for this. I don’t normally post anything on here but maybe someone can hear me out. Thanx to any who took time to read this giant post.

 

 

First Log

I will embark upon a new frontier of self documenting in forms of logs entries and future videos. Attempts have been made in the past but this time on a more serious note. I have reached a critical development time in my life and it would behoove me not to capture all of the changes that are coming. Professional and personal growth has begun and it will be great to “remember how far I’ve gone, and not how far I need to go”